Friday, October 14, 2011

Expectations. Are they good or bad?

I normally view expectations as a good thing. It's something to strive for, a type of goal. Also though, expectations can be a bad thing. We can put expectations on ourselves that are unrealistic and the pressure we put on ourselves can be brutal.

Think about this, close your eyes and picture yourself as a child. What did you expect your life to be like? If you have actually found the life you pictured, I am standing up in my living room applauding you right now. In many cases though, your life isn't totally what you expected. We live it, we adapt, we adjust.

Last night, I was extremely happy. I finally finished Irish Rising which should be a good accomplishment. My second novella is ready to be subbed to my publisher. This weekend I will be writing the synopsis and sending it off. Now back to the phrase, "should be a good accomplishment". First of all it is a good accomplishment but... I originally hoped to have two books subbed by the time Fated Mates came out. What I expected of myself didn't happen. I could make excuses by saying, the book came out two months before the original release date or work has been crazy or the world was revolving on its axis too fast for me. But when it comes right down to it, I am a super slow writer. There, I've said it. One of the contributing factors is that I need to at this point still write out everything in a legal notepad. Then I have to type it into the computer, which takes time because usually I have hours of typing to do at one time. So again, we live, we adjust, we adapt.

Don't even get me started about expectations in my real life. Those are hard. Life is messy and never what we expect. We say things to ourselves like, "If I only had (fill in the bland), my life would be perfect." It's really not true. Sometimes we actually get what we want and it doesn't make us truly happy. We always want more or it's not how we really expected it to turn out. I'm going to give a very bland example from my real life. I always say, "My little house would be perfect, if I only had a dining room." A dining room would mean I could have people over for dinner because I love to cook. My mother, sister, or brother always hold holiday dinners at their house. If I did it, there would be nowhere to sit and we would be crashing into each other because we'd be crammed into the kitchen. So my dream fix, is a dining room. But that would really bring up a whole new set of problem because it wouldn't make my house perfect. I really could never hold a holiday dinner. My sister and one brother do not talk. So I would have to choose who I would want to invite. I really think that's ridiculous, so I would end up inviting both and no one would come. The amount of work would be massive and between the dreaded day job and my writing, I don't have the time to cook and entertain for hours on end. My husband would also hate it! So there we go...

Have a wonderful weekend!

Peace out,


  1. I don't say, "If I only had (fill in the blank), my life would be perfect because I learned the hard way - it's not true. I have to take one day at a time and as for being a slow writer, that's fine. You may find you increase as your number of releases increase - maybe not. It doesn't matter as long as your happy with your writing career that's all that matters.


  2. Sounds like lots of people need virtual hugs this morning. So hugs to you, and congratulations on finishing Irish Rising. Whether you wanted to have more done or not, I think that's a great reason to celebrate! Good luck on submissions too.

    I have "if only" moments too. But my big deal is guilt. I always feel guilty, knowing I should be doing something else. If I'm writing or doing book promo, I should be working or actually paying attention to my child. If I don't get the writing done, I feel like a slacker. Then there's house work, family time, things falling behind at the job. I think if only there were more hours in the day...but if there were, I know I'd blow them on doing something useless.

    I like Amber's answer. Just take one day at a time. But until that next happy moment comes around for you, here's another hug from me.

  3. I can so relate to this. I, too, failed to meet my own personal deadlines in finishing my second novel, or the next. I am also super slow. I have to learn to live with this, though. It's me.

    I've even set a goal of AT LEAST 50 words a day...which to many would be laughable at the tiny progress it means. But, for me, it IS progress, and I can hope that it increases in time. If it does not, I'll still have to be content with my speed.

    Enjoyed your thoughts.