Tuesday, February 26, 2013

On the road to

As most people know, my husband and I are in the process of adopting a baby. For years, we'd gone through fertility treatments and the process was rough. Really rough! After many of years of this, we decided to give my body a break, not to mention the psychological toll these treatments take on your mind, and spirit, and pursue adoption. Well, if I thought in vitro was grueling, adoption is worse. I truly believe if people who are having natural children went through half of this shit there would be a lot less children in the world.

1. The questions- These people want to know everything and I do mean everything! They grill you on every aspects of your personal life from birth. Have a parent pass away? They want to push and probe you about the whole experience? How did you feel? Why didn't you go to therapy? When we met, supposedly for the last time Thursday, someone had already read the report and had questions. They wanted to know the years my dad and the husband's parents passed away in the report. Why? Can't really tell you? Does that make a difference on what type of parents we would be? Don't think so!

2. The "person" wanted my pen name in the report and what types of books I write. Again, what does this have to do with anything? Don't know?

3. The home inspection- Do you know what temperature your water is set at? Well, they need to know this. When I asked why, this was what I was told. "It's a scalding issue. If the baby turned on the faucet with the hot water, we want to make sure the baby doesn't get burned." If a baby dragged a chair over to the kitchen faucet, turned in on, pushed the knob to the left to activate the hot water, all under the nose of me and my husband in a house the size of shoebox, we don't deserve a child. She didn't get to go downstairs because she herself is 9 months pregnant and we don't have a railing going to the stairs. Oh BTW, we need a railing in case the baby needs to go in the basement. Why would a baby need to go into a basement? So the other day, I inspected the hot water heater, knowing it's on the hottest setting because let's face it. If your hot water isn't hot enough to steam up your bathroom, it's not hot enough for me. I tried an experiment. I turned the water down from "6" to "4". I couldn't even take a bath last night. The water never got above lukewarm.!! Experiment a total failure.

4. Wallpaper. Do you have wallpaper in your house? Because they don't like it. What if the baby starts to peel the wallpaper and put it in their mouth? That's got to go!!!!

5. Guns? My husband is a target shooter and a very good one at that. It's one of his hobbies. You don't even want to know the hoops for this little bit of information. When my husband volunteered this information, I almost swallowed my tongue but he was right, when we were fingerprinted and a BCI check performed on us, it would have come out. Oh, did I forget to mention, we had to have a criminal check?  Yes, you have to pass a criminal check to have a baby! Eighteen years ago, my husband was pulled over for speeding and refused a breathalyzer test. He now has to write a paragraph explaining what happened. I'll tell you what happened. We had a beautiful cherry red Camaro, he was young and thought he could race down a town street! The car went back to the car lot the next day! But really??!!

6. Have any animals? Make sure all of their shots are current!

So basically, my plans for writing over vacation went out the door! But I have a whole list of things to do!

Peace out,


  1. Damn can't anything be easy? I know in vitro screws with your mind big time. Adoption sounds like another hell.

  2. You're totally right Amber. I didn't have time to discuss the medical exams, forms, questions about your sex life, special places to put medications, or cleaning supplies!!!

  3. Wow. Just wow. I knew the adoption process was hard. But that's just out there.