Oh no you did not!

A few years ago, my husband was taking a Filipino martial art called Kali. They practiced in the backyard. Or I should say that my husband was beaten with wooden sticks twice a week in the backyard. So now every time we have aches and pains, we ask each other, if we were beaten with some sticks.  Last night, my whole body hurt. I still think it is a combination between an extremely old mattress and new pillows. My neck pain is still not totally gone. I was trying to be funny so I asked the husband if he beat me with some sticks during the night. He told me no, it was only old age. OLD AGE? Did he really just say that? What worries me more, does he really mean it? Oh no you DID NOT!!! I am stating for the record that I am not old. I don't feel old. I don't even think that my age categorizing me as middle age! WTF. Talk about taking the jam out of my donut! He knows that the "old" thing pushes my buttons. Not a great way to start off the day! I might need an actual donut on the way to work!